Recently Jessica Olien, author of a piece titled "I Want To Be My Child's Only Parent," was interviewed on NPR by host John Donovan. Her story caused quite a buzz when it ran in an issue of Slate magazine, because she takes the idea of single parenting to an extreme by stating that she wants to have a child without a man in the picture at all because she believes it will be easier.
She herself was raised by a single mother, who in turn was raised by her single mother. Given her role models, it's easy to see why she is uncomfortable with the idea of having a husband around.
Many of the women who call in to comment during the interview talk about how being a single mom, or in one case, a single child, actually gives them a greater sense of having an extended family. The reason for this is that the single mothers had to depend more on friends and family, and because of that they established closer bonds with those people which might have not developed had a husband been in the picture.
While I myself do not agree at all that it is easier to be a single mom- and I think that the dad should be in the picture if he is loyal and capable- I can see Olien's point of view. So many marriages end in messy divorces- wouldn't it just be easier to cut the man out of the picture and never have to worry about his influence on the child?
Food for thought.
What a controversial topic you've chosen this week. Interesting premise; single parenthood creates less drama. Hmmmmm.... I wonder about this!
ReplyDeleteI think an excellent complement to this post would be a few statistics on what it's like for children to grow up in single parent households. (As a child of one, I can provide anecdotal evidence, but a longitudinal study would be really interesting to "counterpoint" Olien here.
What do children raised by single parents say about "stress"?
Although I am not a mother at all and I have no idea how it feels I have to agree with you 100% it is not easy at all. My mother was a single parent of 3 children. I must say, see her take care of the all three of us is probably one of the saddest things I’ve seen. Just to see my mother struggle was tough especially dealing with financial issues. Me speaking from a child prospective, I believe a child needs both parents in their lives regardless of the situation. Not having a male figure in my life impacted me greatly.
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